In modern society we spend a lot of time glorifying what sex should look like, how long it should last, and putting a lot of value on this. Ultimately, all this pressure can have a real detrimental impact on our lives, and what you hear about sex is not always accurate—particularly how long someone lasts in bed. So here is true and timed data on what the average length of intercourse actually is.
Defining Sex in This Study
Before I launch into the data, it’s important to define what sex actually means. Well, in this particular study, sex means penetration—from the initial penetration to the end of penetration. It does not include foreplay. That does not mean that that’s what sex should mean for you, but that’s how they defined it in this study. In the data that I’m presenting, they are specifically talking about sex between men and women. No matter what the data says, it’s important to communicate with your partner about what their expectations are and what they enjoy in a sexual relationship during intercourse and outside of it because it’s different for each and every person. In order for you to have a fulfilling sex life, it’s important to communicate and always be open.
Men’s Perspective: Ideal vs. Actual
So what do men think the ideal length of penetrative intercourse is? Specifically, in medical speak we call it Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time—essentially, the time from the beginning of penetration to ejaculation. On average, men estimate the ideal length to be about 16 minutes, and they think that people actually last about 9 minutes.
But what’s the data? When you look at these 500 couples from around the world, they were asked to use a stopwatch to time their intra-ejaculatory latency time. What they found was the average length was 5.7 mins. Yes, 5.7 minutes—that’s it. There was a range which included anywhere from 0.1 minutes to about 55 minutes. Some people did have a longer intra-ejaculatory latency time, and interestingly, it varied by location. For example, Turkey had the lowest IELT of 4.4 minutes, and the UK had the longest IELT of about 10 minutes.
What Do Women Want?
What do women want? Well, there’s no good scientific study on this, but on a poll conducted by a website of 4,000 women, what they found was that the average length of time that women desire to have penetrative intercourse was 25 minutes. Again, this is variable from person to person, so I wouldn’t put too much stock in these numbers.
Key Takeaways and Professional Guidance
What I want you to take away is what is normal, what is average, and if you are reaching average, that’s great. The most important thing is that you and your partner are satisfied.
If you are having difficulties with premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation, make sure you make an appointment with a urologist. Also, another great resource is seeing a sex therapist—consider seeking professional help if needed.
Thank you for reading, and always remember to take care of yourself because you’re worth it. Feel free to share your experiences and insights in the comment box below.